The New Yorker magazine is justifiably famous for its fine writing, with its contributors a veritable Who’s Who of famous authors and journalists of the past century. Truman Capote, Ann Beattie, J.D. Salinger, John Cheever, John Updike, Dorothy Parker, E.B. White, Philip Roth, Alice Munro, John Hersey, Malcolm Gladwell, Roger Angell, James Thurber … you get the idea.
But for many (OK, I admit it, often for me), it’s mostly just a print vessel for the cartoons. These offer some of the most brilliant commentaries on the world you will find anywhere — witty, profound, whimsical, silly — and my web browser has this link bookmarked in case I’m feeling glum.
The magazine also has a Cartoon Caption Contest, in which readers contribute captions for a drawing that changes weekly. I’ve entered the contest dozens of times, and have won the same number of times as I’ve won Wimbledon.
Oh well. You might think this brilliant entry could have done the trick:
“I need the miles.”
I share this low success rate with my sister Anne, who in my unbiased opinion should have won with this one:
“You were right — I’m STILL not free.”
Admittedly motivated by our failure, we hereby offer our own ID Cartoon Caption Contest. The drawing is Anne’s (I’ve featured her art before), and it was inspired by a certain white coat controversy.
Submit your caption either in the comments section, to my Twitter feed, or if you want to keep it secret, email me at id.caption@yahoo.com.
We’ll judge them on funniness using only the most highly objective and scientific criteria. In addition to widespread fame, the winner will receive a free lifelong subscription to this blog.
Here’s the drawing — have at it:
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“He’s taken the Hygiene Hypothesis too far.”
Love it!
“Are you finally ready to give up on home visits?”
“Dr Petri, I presume?”
Nice!
Paul,
Fabulous idea. I expect you’ll have to make this a regular feature of your already terrific blog. I once submitted a caption to the New Yorker’s caption contest–this was several years ago, now–but didn’t do so quickly enough after inspiration struck. The winning caption was, verbatim, what I had submitted.
JB
“Don’t worry, it’s still sensitive to colistin…”
I like the colistin submission!
“Let this be a lesson to you: see what happens if you actually touch a patient!”
Love this one…reminds me of the medical director of my mother’s nursing home, who never did. Touch a patient, that is. Was left to me to find the baseball-sized abdominal tumor.
“Perhaps you should have chosen some other line of work, Dr. Pig-Pen.”
“I don’t waste time with anything not required by MOC.”
OR
“Don’t worry guys, I passed my hand-hygiene MOC module.”
“He does the fecal transplants – but I think he’s got just a little too much community spirit for my comfort.”
When did you join “Doctors Without Detergent”?
“Don’t worry, I’m clean below the wrists…”
“Since I’m next to him I must be a Satanist.”
“My kid ate all the detergent pods.”
Bad night in the ED?
or, “still happy you chose Emergency Medicine?”
Your microbiome is showing
Congratulations! You have completed your fellowship successfully and can now join the faculty.
Looks like he got rid of his newbie look…
“This, as you may gather, is our xenodiagnostician”
What do you mean? I use an “all-natural” detergent.
PigPen realizing his lifelong dream- walking ID lab.
“Don’t worry! The stains aren’t blood.”
Based on preliminary studies, a thorough examination by this intern is more effective than oral vancomycin.
“I bet Charlie Brown never thought Pig-Pen would become a doctor.”
You wreak, Ugh!
Plate rounds are cancelled.
“What do you think? Is he compost mentis or not?”
Dr Colon, are you still doing the fecal transplants via colonoscope?
Why not try capsules to swallow?
He’s the junior member of our faculty. I guess stuff does roll downhill …
Great idea, Paul. I always thought the ‘winning’ contest captions the lamest in the entire magazine. I’ll keep an eye on this, and in this go-round vote for Rebecca Ludwig.
Peds.
At least he has his tie tucked-in.
Now THAT is some serious white coat syndrome !
“I hear his smile is also infectious.”
Jon, I’ll take isolation procedures for the block…
ID consultant loves this coat, he sees all my patients
“Damn–it looks like the Medicare reimbursement for ID consults has been cut again!!”
New version of “bugs” bunny
Taking your work home with you again?
sorry guys this was my fourth Manual Disimpaction this week and i havent had a chance to do laundry
“It worked for Barry Marshall”
“Maybe the tie touching the patient is not the problem”
His ever growing interest in urology has reached stinky levels.
Flint MI water I presume…
“An avant-garde choice for this year’s Semmelweis Prize”
Paul, here at the Brigham we strive for stealth contagion
“No worries, there´s still is no solid evidence it may transmit anything”
Due to budgetary issues FMT has been curtailed, Smithy here has decided to share his pristine microbiome with our most severely affected CDI patients.
KPC is the new black
Sorry, I have no clean water in the house. I have to chlorinate my well to clear it of those pesky iron-loving bacteria…
Should we consider to introduce breaks into residents’ schedules?