August 27th, 2016

ID Cartoon Caption Contest #1 Winner — and a New Contest for the End of Summer

All blogs worth the price of admission have a sidebar, and this one is no exception.

Critical components include (but are not limited to) the following:

  • The Option to Subscribe — Go ahead, you know you want to. It’s right over there to the right. Just enter your email address and click subscribe — no username, password, or two-step verification required. Then, kind of like colonization resistance, the notifications you’ll get of a latest post here will help crowd out those dubious invitations to conferences in China, Dubai, or Malaysia, the requests to submit papers for the The Journal of Infectious and Non-Infectious Diseases, and the people who are trying to sell us CRISPR reagents.
  • The Search Box, where you can enter diverse topics such as “Should I curbside ID about whether to give the rabies vaccine?” or “Why does he hate the term HAART?”
  • The Most Popular Posts list, which here is called, “Most Commented,” with another tab for “Most Read.”
    most commented!

In case it wasn’t obvious enough, I’ve highlighted that the first ID Cartoon Caption contest drew quite a response. If we add in entries that were sent to me directly via email, there were well over 200 submissions. Not bad for a debut performance.

Anyway, here’s the winner of ID Cartoon Caption Contest #1:


“We’re looking for diversity in our staff, not biodiversity.”

The winner was Dr. Michael Dantzer, who has kindly given me permission to use his real name (I assume it’s his real name). As promised, he gets a free lifetime subscription to this blog and, of course, lasting fame and fortune.

He also sent me a nice note praising my excellent sense of humor in picking his entry as a finalist. It should be noted, however, that the selection of his entry as a finalist relied not so much on my subjective sense of what’s funny, but a highly complex algorithm that includes not only scientifically validated humor criteria but also gas liquid chromatography and multiplex PCR.

Anyway, it’s high time for a new contest. Summer is about to end, Labor Day cookouts loom, and we must be vigilant to the ever rising threat of both foodborne pathogens and carcinogenic heterocyclic amines:


Go at it. Put your entries in the comments section (preferred), on my Twitter feed, or email it directly to

(Drawing by Anne Sax, of course.)


46 Responses to “ID Cartoon Caption Contest #1 Winner — and a New Contest for the End of Summer”

  1. Michael Rowe says:

    “”No thanks. Gluten free.”

  2. Ed El Sayed says:

    “Keep it burning, Bob. I prefer my buns toasted and patty salmonella free.”

  3. R Cannon says:

    I solemnly swear I’m taking my PPI and will submit to arbitration any complaint.

  4. Y_oo says:

    Who asked for very well done?

  5. Nirav Patel says:

    No thanks, I prefer flame-roasted Salmonella…

  6. reader says:

    “No cheese or micro-organisms please.”

  7. JRMD says:

    “Sorry, I was using fire in the belly as a figure of speech”

  8. Heather says:

    “Wow! Who knew the antibiotics in animal feed were so flammable?”

  9. Jason Halperin says:

    “No thanks, I’m with her now.”
    Sorry not ID related, but I could not help myself.

  10. Jim Clark says:

    “Next time I’ll bring the autoclave.”

  11. Sandy Kimmel says:

    No thanks, no Carolina Reaper burgers for me!
    (2 million SHU if you’re interested)

  12. Vernon Swygert says:

    “Oh! Extinguish Bunsen’s Burger!”

  13. Nancy S. Miller, MD says:

    “It’s no use. You’re just selecting for fire-resistant shiga-toxin producing E. coli….”

  14. Rebecca Ludwig says:

    I don’t think Sriracha works on E.coli.

  15. Steve Playe says:

    “Sorry, I’ve given up on The Berne.”

  16. James French says:

    “You were not kidding when you said that the burgers were flaming hot!”

  17. Sharylee Barnes MD says:

    “Sorry, I already have GERD.”

  18. JC says:

    “I said well-done, not sterile.”

  19. Brian R E Schultz, MD says:

    “Hold on a sec Randy…. I need to wash that down with some Planococcus halocryophilus and a side of permafrost.”

    (EXTREMELY dorky… I know)

  20. Bryan Burke MD says:

    “Cooked so long it’s become charcoal? No thanks. I haven’t been poisoned today.”

  21. Aaron Kassoff says:

    “No thanks. they always give me heartburn.”

  22. Elizabeth says:

    “Now the evidence supports charred food?”

  23. Husain says:

    “We can’t get the spores without autoclaving the burgers”

  24. Rachel says:

    I said DEET, not meat!

  25. Luciano Kapelusznik says:

    “Chipotle burgers anyone?”

  26. esdegree says:

    “Really? The Immolation Diet, huh.”

  27. Ann Loree says:

    So, you think THAT will get rid of all the E. coli O157:H7 toxin?

  28. Rebecca says:

    I pledge allegiance, to the Salmonella…

  29. Amod Gupta says:

    “What? Burnt all the good bugs! Was desperately looking for a frozen p*** pattie for transplant”

  30. W. K. Brubaker M. D. says:

    OK, but only if I get a side dish of fecal transplant from a slender donor. I can’t afford to put on anymore weight wearing these wifebeater T-shirts and flip flops.

  31. William Schwartzman says:

    The Barbecue Conundrum!
    Burger microbiomes vary inversely with carbon footprint of the grill.

  32. Huan Truong says:

    No, thanks! I prefer to keep my colonoscopy schedule at q10 years not q6 months!

  33. Enrique Rainero says:

    Something for desert? Yeah, ciprofloxacin and a colonoscopy, please.

  34. Sky Blue says:

    “Hey Paul. I see you must have consulted on another case of HUS recently”

  35. john lee says:

    “Just got back from meeting with my environmentalist and she told me to cut back on my carbon footprint.”

    • Paul Sax says:

      Good one! Or even simpler: “No thanks — I’m trying to cut down on my carbon footprint.”

  36. Jim Dunford says:

    Pardon me. Did you say you majored in the culinary arts or culinary arson?

  37. Bryan says:

    I’m not sure it’s done yet. Did you check a CRP and ESR?

  38. mauricio medeiros says:

    Well done!
    now can we boil it just a little?

  39. Zoheir says:

    or “My gut flora refuses”

  40. Philip Morganelli says:

    “No thanks, I’m watching my carbon footprint.”

  41. AS says:

    No thanks. I’d prefer mine with brimstone.

  42. Ray says:

    Not too close! I might get BRONCHITIS!
    Ain’t nobody got time for that!

  43. Margaret A Conte says:

    No thanks. “Feeling the burn” is not for me

  44. Marvin Sager says:

    Just hold the hot sauce, because I don’t want to become a flame thrower.

HIV Information: Author Paul Sax, M.D.

Paul E. Sax, MD

Contributing Editor

NEJM Journal Watch
Infectious Diseases

Biography | Disclosures | Summaries

Learn more about HIV and ID Observations.