The 12 Days of Christmas

(Come on! Sing along!)

On the first day of Christmas,
the ER sent to me…
A cardiac arrest without a DNR.

On the second day of Christmas,
the ER sent to me…
Two gunshot wounds,
And a cardiac arrest without a DNR.

On the third day of Christmas,
the ER sent to me…
Three drug overdoses,
Two gunshot wounds,
And a cardiac arrest without a DNR.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
the ER sent to me…
Four chest pain rule-outs,
Three drug overdoses,
Two gunshot wounds,
And a cardiac arrest without a DNR.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
the ER sent to me…
Five hypertensive crises,
Four chest pain rule-outs,
Three drug overdoses,
Two gunshot wounds,
And a cardiac arrest without a DNR.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
the ER sent to me…
Six hearts a-failing,
Five hypertensive crises,
Four chest pain rule-outs,
Three drug overdoses,
Two gunshot wounds,
And a cardiac arrest without a DNR.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
the ER sent to me…
Seven drunks a-singing,
Six hearts a-failing,
Five hypertensive crises,
Four chest pain rule-outs,
Three drug overdoses,
Two gunshot wounds,
And a cardiac arrest without a DNR.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
the ER sent to me…
Eight patients seizing,
Seven drunks a-singing,
Six hearts a-failing,
Five hypertensive crises,
Four chest pain rule-outs,
Three drug overdoses,
Two gunshot wounds,
And a cardiac arrest without a DNR.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
the ER sent to me…
Nine ladies bleeding,
Eight patients seizing,
Seven drunks a-singing,
Six hearts a-failing,
Five hypertensive crises,
Four chest pain rule-outs,
Three drug overdoses,
Two gunshot wounds,
And a cardiac arrest without a DNR.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
the ER sent to me…
Ten bellies a-hurting,
Nine ladies bleeding,
Eight patients seizing,
Seven drunks a-singing,
Six hearts a-failing,
Five hypertensive crises,
Four chest pain rule-outs,
Three drug overdoses,
Two gunshot wounds,
And a cardiac arrest without a DNR.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
the ER sent to me…
Eleven smokers gasping,
Ten bellies a-hurting,
Nine ladies bleeding,
Eight patients seizing,
Seven drunks a-singing,
Six hearts a-failing,
Five hypertensive crises,
Four chest pain rule-outs,
Three drug overdoses,
Two gunshot wounds,
And a cardiac arrest without a DNR.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
the ER sent to me…
Twelve uncontrolled sugars,
Eleven smokers gasping,
Ten bellies a-hurting,
Nine ladies bleeding,
Eight patients seizing,
Seven drunks a-singing,
Six hearts a-failing,
Five hypertensive crises,
Four chest pain rule-outs,
Three drug overdoses,
Two gunshot wounds,
And a cardiac arrest without a DNR.

Pager Page

(Come on! Sing along!)

Dashing through the halls
After a brief one-hour snooze
O’er the floors we go
Yawning all the way
Codes on walkie-talkies called
Making interns cry
What fun it is to bag and squeeze
A coding man tonight!

Oh, pager page, pager page
Paging all the time
Oh, how hard it is to sleep and dream
With that bleeping beeping chime
Pager page, pager page
Paging all the time
Oh, how hard it is to sleep and dream
With that bleeping beeping chime

An hour or so ago
I thought I’d take a nap
And soon Nurse Keep-Me-Up
Was again beeping on my side
The man was sick and still
Breathing was no longer his deal
So we jumped into the coding room
And began our valiant moves!

Oh, pager page, pager page
Paging all the time
Oh, how hard it is to sleep and dream
With that bleeping beeping chime
Pager page, pager page
Paging all the time
Oh, how hard it is to sleep and dream
With that bleeping beeping chime

Oh, pager page, pager page
Paging all the time
Oh, how hard it is to sleep and dream
With that bleeping beeping chime
Pager page, pager page
Paging all the time
Oh, how hard it is to sleep and dream
With that bleeping beeping chime

I’m Dreaming of a Codeless Call

(Come on! Sing along!)

I’m dreaming of a codeless call
Unlike the ones I have always had
Where the patients listen
And medicines are taken
And I’m able to avoid anything bad.

I’m dreaming of a codeless call
With every pager sound I hear
I pray my night be slow and quiet
And may all my patients stay outta my sight.

I’m dreaming of a codeless call
With every pager sound I hear
I pray my night be slow and quiet
And may all my patients stay outta my sight.

Immunizations Are Coming Your Way

(Come on! Sing along!)

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I’m telling you why
Immunizations are coming your way

He’s making a fist,
And shaking his head;
Gonna be like a wrestling a gorilla in bed.
Immunizations are coming your way

He sees you when you’re sneaky
He knows when the needle is near
He knows if you’ve been slow or fast
So be fast for goodness sake!

O! You better watch out!
You better not cry.
Better not pout, I’m telling you why.
Immunizations are coming your way.

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I’m telling you why
Immunizations are coming your way

He’s making a fist,
And shaking his head;
Gonna be like a wrestling a gorilla in bed.
Immunizations are coming your way

He sees you when you’re sneaky
He knows when the needle is near
He knows if you’ve been slow or fast
So be fast for goodness sake!

O! You better watch out!
You better not cry.
Better not pout, I’m telling you why.
Immunizations are coming your way.
Immunizations are coming your way.

Here Comes the Intern!

(Come on! Sing along!)

Here comes the Intern!
Here comes the Intern!
Right down the hospital’s hall!
Nurses and techs and all their patients
Have been waiting on his call.
Phones are ringing, alarms are beeping;
All is chaotic and right.
Cross your fingers and say your prayers,
‘Cause the intern comes tonight.

Here comes the Intern!
Here comes the Intern!
Right down the hospital’s hall!
He’s got a coat that is filled with books
That tell him how to heal.
See the sweat stains on his scrubs,
Oh, what a frightening sight.
Jump in bed, cover up your head,
‘Cause the Intern comes tonight.

Happy Holidays!