An ongoing dialogue on HIV/AIDS, infectious diseases,
November 25th, 2016
ID Cartoon Caption Contest #2 Winner — and a New Contest for the Holidays
Every so often, one of my regular readers (which must number at least a dozen at this point, including my extended family, dog, and cat) asks me where I come up with ideas.
The answer, of course, is that there are infinite sources of inspiration in the field of Infectious Diseases — the difficulty is choosing what fascinating topic will be the target of this week’s cogent and definitive analysis.
Or, I can just steal something, which is what I’ve unabashedly done with the Cartoon Contest, modeled after the more established version from The New Yorker.
And here’s the winner of the summertime contest, an outdoor scene that might bring back fond memories of warm breezes, long days at the beach, and dining al fresco:
“No thanks, I’m watching my carbon footprint.”
We’ll give Philip Morganelli the top prize on this one, though he’ll need to share the generous honorarium with John Lee, who introduced the whole “carbon footprint” theme and might have provided Philip some inspiration.
But I confess this contest turned out a bit differently than anticipated. With such an ID-oriented crowd, I figured the obviously very well-done burgers would generate plenty of funny captions about food safety. If you’re wondering what I mean, take a look at this most unappetizing food truck:
Concern about underdone burgers prompted my next door neighbors Ben and Carol to call the well-done hockey pucks favored by ID specialists “Madoff burgers”. It’s in honor of Dr. Lawrence Madoff, an ID doctor who works at the Massachusetts Department of Public Health, who periodically attends our neighborhood cookouts — you can guess Larry’s emphatic answer to the question, “And how would you like that done?” Perhaps he will be introducing his own line of crispy fast food soon.
Yet none of the top three captions chosen by our AHA (Advanced Humor Algorithm) had anything remotely to do with infectious food safety:
- “No thanks, I’m watching my carbon footprint.” (the now-famous Philip Morganelli)
- “Sorry, I was using fire in the belly as a figure of speech.” (JRMD)
- “No thanks. They always give me heartburn.” (Aaron Kassoff)
Perhaps I poisoned (ha) the ID entries by introducing the drawing with this gloomy sentence: “We must be vigilant to the ever rising threat of both foodborne pathogens and carcinogenic heterocyclic amines.” Come to think of it, that alone could have been a (very unfunny) caption.
This time, you’ll get no such leading leading statement — here’s the cartoon, let your inspiration run wild:
Post captions in the comments section (preferred), or if you’re shy, email them to me at id.caption@yahoo.com.
(Drawing by Anne Sax.)
92 Responses to “ID Cartoon Caption Contest #2 Winner — and a New Contest for the Holidays”
Paul E. Sax, MD
Contributing Editor
NEJM Journal Watch
Infectious Diseases
Biography | Disclosures | Summaries
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“When in doubt, examine the patient.”
“He looks better in real life than he does here.”
“That IS a cute photo of your daughter’s puppy.”
“Look Helen and Greg, Google says it’s never lupus.”
Dr. Google, I presume?
“As you can see, we have been wrong for years. Girls do in fact, carry cooties.”
I still can’t believe it’s over for Brangelina.
On this level you need to use the lollipop hammers and the striped candies.
Oh, look: he’s septic.
I told you, the foot bone IS connected to the ankle bone!
“Remember your ABCs – Airway, Breathing, Computer…”
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“Diagnosing this computer virus is SO much easier than taking a complete patient history.”
“The ID algorithm says we should ask him if he has any pets!”
I don’t know … let’s go ask the pharmacist!
TOUCHDOWN! Patriot’s now have 14 points …. which is also conveniently our patient’s duration of therapy.
I think you tap here to take his pulse.
Try 1-2-3-4, it’s the same password as my luggage.
I put ” W61.43 Pecked by a turkey” on his problem list just to cheer up the people in the coding office.
I thought YOU took the epic refresher????
“Just as I feared…it’s a virus.”
Go! Pick the left one first!
Your thoughts, Dr Google?
“Control-Alt-E performs a physical exam”
First you copy forward, then edit. The physical is optional if it was done before.
Does anyone know his reason for admission? All that’s written here is ‘2016’.
“Better to use the touchscreen than touch the patient….”
Amending my own entry!
“I tend to find using the touchscreen preferable to touching the patient….”
So how long this Windows 10 update is going to take?!
Darn! We got the Blue Screen of Death again!
Hmmmm….. okay I give up. Let’s try talking to the patient instead.
“If you put this 8 on the 9, you’ll have a free column for that king.”
Which one of us gets to look at the patient to notice that the IV isn’t connected?
“Look, it’s January 20th. No wonder this guy is so sick.”
We’ve found ourselves on the cartoon caption page! Say something funny!
Hey, I found Pikachu in the Emergency Department!
When you click “Troubleshooting”, it says “Step 1; Find a med student’
“Well, I don’t know. I took personal time to de-stress during Spleen.”
‘Oh great, the H&P hasn’t even been done yet. How are we supposed to know what’s going on with him?!?’
just 432 more likes and we’ll be ready for surgery
Forget about him…these SNL sketches are hilarious.
‘There is nothing on the Brain MRI that explains this.’
‘What else could be causing his delusional behaviour to apply for medical school?’
October 31, 2016
“I think he’s on to us!”
“In order to emphasize patient-centered care, this new interface has been implemented to track your patients social media updates!”
Sorry,I tried to ask the patient about his past medical history by email,but he is not answering.I suppose he is not connected..
“Looks like he’s tachypneic.”
Wow! What a Cyber Monday deal on an MRI!
“The patient complaints of headache, but it is written here as bilateral orchidectomy”
‘OMG! Such discolorations I’ve only seen on stiffs before!’
“See? I told you! Symptom Checker says he’s pregnant!”
I am not going to tell him,
You tell him !
Can we just keep looking at the screen until he goes away?
… and if you need I.D. guidance, prescribe “vanco + zosyn” three times and press “enter”…
Wait! I know what to do! I used to be a Chief Resident!
Let’s see here, hmm WebMD seems to agree with our diagnosis. Good work team.
“Now we can say we did rounds at bedside”